Today's Fantasy Rx

While I'd like to open with the box score, then move to news and notes like yesterday, we have a small problem with Miller Park that needs addressing.

We caught one game there last year with a few owners from one of our leagues and were quite impressed with the overall setup. Comparing our experiences to Wrigley isn't quite fair to any mallpark, but we've seen more games at Clark & Addison than every other park combined. Miller does have better parking, more affordable food with only a slight loss in quality, and isn't burdened with many obstructed views.

However one of the primary attractions of Wrigley is Wayne Messmer, one of the few great National Anthem singers in the nation. Unfortunately Miller seems burdened with the worst.

Last year, Kraft sponsored one of their employees to sing. She was terrible, but at least she didn't mess up the lyrics.

We caught at least one televised Cubs' game in Miller this year. Again, simply a dreadful rendition, although still no problem with the lyrics.

Then on Sunday, "celebrity" Joy Enriquez, best known for an unimpressive singing career and playing a character based on herself on the ever-moralizing WB travesty "7th Heaven", managed to Roseanne the anthem. Despite the small detail of her facing the lyrics on the scoreboard, apparently the "Star Spangled Banner" now includes the phrase "perilous tribes" or maybe "perilous strife" instead of the traditional "perilous fight".

In another decade we'd have called her a communist for such a disgusting display, although since she was born in California and not Cuba, we simply suggest MLB not invite her back before she's giving her induction speech in Cleveland.

2002 All-Star Legends & Celebrity Softball Game

Line Score
EXHIBITION  FINAL

                    1  2  3   4  5     R  H  E
                    -  -  -   -  -     -  -  -
BREW CREW           1  0  0   1  5     7 12  0
WALLBANGERS         0  0  4   0  0     4  6  1      (FINAL)

BATTERIES: BREW CREW - DAVE WINFIELD, NADIA DAJANI(3RD)
                       AND PICABO STREET.

         WALLBANGERS - MEAT LOAF AND CECIL FIELDER; MEAT LOAF,
                       ROLLIE FINGERS(5TH), MEAT LOAF(5TH) AND CHI
                       MCBRIDE(4TH).


                  WP - NADIA DAJANI
                  LP - ROLLIE FINGERS
                SAVE - NONE

HOME RUNS: BREW CREW - OZZIE SMITH OFF MEAT LOAF IN THE 1ST, 0 ON
                       RYNE SANDBERG OFF MEAT LOAF IN THE 4TH, 0 ON
                       DON MATTINGLY OFF ROLLIE FINGERS IN THE 5TH,1 ON
                       JOHN KRUK OFF MEAT LOAF IN THE 5TH, 0 ON

         WALLBANGERS - ROLLIE FINGERS OFF DAVE WINFIELD IN THE 3RD,1 ON

     TIME: N/A     ATT: N/A



Box Score
BREW CREW(7) VS. WALLBANGERS(4) - FINAL

BREW CREW            ab  r  h rbi bb so lob  avg
R Sandberg lf/cf      2  1  1  1  0  0  0   .500
O Smith ss            2  1  1  1  0  0  0   .500
K James lf            2  0  1  0  0  0  0   .500
D Winfield p          2  1  1  0  0  0  0   .500
Coolio cf/rf          2  0  1  0  0  0  0   .500
G Brett rf            2  1  1  1  0  0  0   .500
R Schiff 2b           2  1  2  1  0  0  0  1.000
D Mattingly 3b-ss     2  1  2  2  0  0  0  1.000
J Kruk rf             2  1  1  1  0  0  2   .500
N Dajani p            2  0  0  0  0  0  0   .000
P Street c            2  0  1  0  0  0  0   .500
B Whitford 1b         1  0  0  0  0  0  1   .000
H Reynolds 3b         1  0  0  0  0  0  0   .000

Totals              24  7  12  7  0  0  3   .500

BATTING: 2B - Kevin James(1, M Loaf).  3B - G Brett(1, R Fingers).  
HR - O Smith(1, M Loaf), R Sandberg(1, M Loaf), D Mattingly(1,
R Fingers), J Kruk(1, M Loaf).  RBI - D Mattingly 2, O Smith,
R Sandberg, G Brett, R Schiff, J Kruk.  Runners left in scoring
position, 2 out - J Kruk 2.  PDP - B Whitford. Team LOB - 3.

FIELDING: E - C Cooper(1, grounder).  DP: (R Schiff-O Smith).


WALLBANGERS          ab  r  h rbi bb so lob  avg
J Enriquez 2b         2  0  0  0  0  0  0   .000
P Molitor rf          2  0  0  0  0  0  0   .000
H Long lf             2  0  0  0  0  0  0   .000
C Fielder c           2  0  0  0  0  0  0   .000
M Loaf p              2  0  0  0  0  0  0   .000
C Cooper 1b           2  0  0  0  0  0  0   .000
D Earnhardt, Jr. 3b   1  1  1  0  0  0  0  1.000
C McBride c           1  0  0  0  0  0  1   .000
R Fingers cf/rf-rf-p  1  1  1  2  0  0  0  1.000
T Todd ss             1  1  1  0  0  0  0  1.000
G Thomas lf/cf-cf/rf  1  1  1  0  0  0  0  1.000
G Lewis rf            1  0  1  1  0  0  0  1.000
D Parra 3b            1  0  1  0  0  0  0  1.000
K Mayne lf/cf         1  0  0  0  0  0  3   .000

Totals               20  4  6  4  0  0  4   .300

BATTING: HR - R Fingers(1, M Loaf).  RBI - R Fingers 2,
G Lewis, K Mayne.  Runners left in scoring position, 2 out
- C McBride.  GIDP - K Mayne.  Team LOB - 3.


----------------------------------------------------
    BREW CREW       - 100 15   --   7
    WALLBANGERS     - 004 00   --   4
----------------------------------------------------

BREW CREW           ip      h   r  er  bb  so  hr    era
D Winfield          2  1/3  5   4   4   0   0   1  15.43
N Dajani            2  2/3  1   0   0   0   0   0   0.00

WALLBANGERS         ip      h   r  er  bb  so  hr    era
M Loaf               4      6   2   2   0   0   2   9.00
R Fingers              1/3  5   4   4   0   0   1 108.00
M Loaf                 2/3  1   1   1   0   0   1  13.50

D Winfield pitched to 6 batters in the 3rd.
R Fingers pitched to 5 batters in the 5th.


Pitches-strikes: D Winfield 16-15; N Dajani 19-13; M Loaf 50-34;
R Fingers 11-7.  Ground balls-fly balls: D Winfield 2-10;
N Dajani 4-4; M Loaf 3-16; R Fingers 2-3.  Batters faced:
D Winfield 12; N Dajani 8; M Loaf 19; R Fingers 5.

 
UMPIRES: HP-Casey Moser. 1B-Dustin "Dusty" Dellinger. 2B-David Riley.
3B-Chris Hubler.

T-N/A. Att-N/A.
Weather: 66 degrees, clear. Wind: 7 mph.

Don Mattingly earned the Radio Shack Legends and Celebrity Softball Game MVP for his two-run homer and solid play at third base and shortstop.

ESPN's Rich Eisen MC'd the game in the stadium. He was also determined to receive applause by saying the word "sausage" as many times as possible; I believe he reached a half dozen or so by the end of the game.

Brew Crew Notes

We didn't recognize three of these "celebrities", but the only unknown on the Brew Crew was Nadia Dajani, an actress who appeared in Ed Burns' Sidewalks of New York aside from guest starring on a few series like "The West Wing" and "Sports Night". She also was one of the primary cast members of the underrated "Ned and Stacey" from a few years' ago.

Dajani relieved Dave Winfield on the mound, and she easily delivered the most impressive performance of the game. While she can't hit, her pitching sealed the Brew Crew win for Harold Reynolds.

Eisen introduced John Kruk as a guy who "works on some show on some other network".

The Miller Park scoreboard screen cuts off the bottom line of TV broadcasts, leaving George Brett as the "only player to win batting titles", not allowing us to see the "in three decades" notation below the visible area of the screen.

While Meat Loaf didn't wait for Brett to hit a homer, after throwing one pitch to him in the second inning, Loaf approached the plate, demanded his bat, and brought out a tape measure. Of course, Brett's pine tar "exceeded the allowed length", so Brett, who'd previously walked back to his seat, came tearing back out to the home plate umpire. Eisen then piped up "[Meat Loaf should have] waited until [Brett] hit a homer.

We saw one of the new MLB memorabilia authentication ads without Arthur Andersen. A randomly selected fan took up home plate, Mattingly signed the plate, a woman from Deloitte & Touche authenticated the autograph, and Rich Eisen authenticated Don Mattingly.

Wisconsin native Brad Whitford and Richard Schiff, respectively "Josh" and "Toby" on "The West Wing", played 1B and 2B respectively for the Brew Crew. Eisen questioned "Who knew 'The West Wing' could be right wing?"

In the top of the third inning, Picabo Street challenged Dale Earnhardt, Jr. to a race to second base - with remote-control cars. Picabo led early, but he she got stuck while Junior cruised into second for the win.

In the top of the 4th, Kevin James lined a ball to left-center over the head of leaping former quarterback Kenny Mayne (who took a few steps towards the infield before realizing the ball was going over his head). However he managed to sling the ball back to Derek Parra at third base in time to tag the lumbering mountain of Kevin James. James almost bowled over Parra but the 2002 gold medalist side-stepped the actor and applied the tag, ending the inning.

Wallbangers' Notes

The Brew Crew contributed most of the fun moments, including the Ozzie Smith, Ryne Sandberg, and Don Mattingly homers, a real treat for us Cubs' or Cardinals' fans, but the Wallbangers provided some amusement.

Howie Long, apparently representing the game's sponsor since Teri Hatcher wasn't there, lost track of outs in the top of the third inning. Tony Todd had to inform him that Brad Whitford's pop-up that let Todd double off Picabo Street at 1B were the last outs of the inning.

In the top of the second inning, Dale Junior chased after a pop-up, missed it, and then did his best Pastaman imitation (from last year's All-Star Game when La Sorda attempted a backwards somersault).

The other two "celebrities" unfamiliar to us were Tony Todd, who acts under the name "Antonio Lewis Todd", played ball in Little Big League and The Scout(and he's about to appear in Lockdown), and Glenn Lewis, promoting his album "World Outside My Window".

Watching these celebrities play softball was definitely an interesting experience, and this is likely one of the only opportunities for us to run a box score including the lines of "M Loaf" and "Coolio".

Enjoy the game tonight.

Today's Fantasy Rx: All-Star Game tonight at 7pm(CDT) on Fox.